Dec 14, 2006

Full time SAHM

So busy busy lately since we returned from our trip. I still have a lot of unpacking to do (from our vacation). House is in a mess, not sure if we going to have anyone over for Christmas. No time to decorate. Just put out a decorative flag outside, hang a few Christmas stockings, put out our little fiber optics Christmas tree and a snowman decorative ornament on the coffee table. All these were done by Hubby nto me. And all the Christmas cards I need to get out, I kept thinking I still have time to write and mail them, guess I have to get those out by this week the latest.

Gosh ... just imagine all the piled up work/chores which I need to get done with. I always have all these things in my mind to do when I was taking care of Brandon, but once he is asleep, there are even more things to do. He only nap twice during the daytime and usually less than 1 hour. Since we got back, he has been sleeping around 11pm (after his jetlag was gone, before our trip he sleeps before 10pm). Hubby sleeps around 10pm, so from 10pm till Brandon sleeps, I have to take care of him. Sometimes I didn't go to bed until 1am (not that bad but considering my not-enough accumulative sleep since my trip to KL then is really bad).

During that 2 times one hour naps he takes, things which I can't do (he sleeps in the dining area on the swing): Vacuuming (too loud, may wake him up), no vacuum so no mopping either, no gardening since I cannot leave the house, no washing dishes (water running and the 'kili kalang' noises of handling of dishes) no washing clothes (washer is too noisy too), and more (can't think more of these at this time).

Things I can or NEED to do: Online, eat my breakfast/lunch, brush teeth/wash face, bathroom runs (big and small), hang washed clothes, collect, fold and keep clothes into appropriate spots, keep dried and cleaned dishes into drawers, prepare dinner, read weekly groceries flyers for sales, read newspaper (I still have the Stars Newpaper from Nov 25th which I have yet to finish reading), pack diaper bag to go out (if we going out in the evening), do my real estate stuff (lately, it has been very difficult to handle with my business in the manner I wanted to), tidy up each room, try to pack stuff from inside the house to put outside in the garage to increase space for more baby's stuff, download and edit pictures, ... so much more. I don't think I can finish listing all of them.

OK, back to my topic. Being a full time SAHM is not easy. All my time is spent for the family and not so much for myself. May be out of the 18 hours of awake time, 1.5 hr is for myself (including my only personal time - in the shower). All the rest of the time is dedicated for attending the family - Brandon (60%), Hubby (prepare and cook food for him - 10%) and the house (30%). Really one lar, no maid very difficult. At least with a maid, I can be free of certain household chores. Sometimes really overly stressed and very easily get mad/angry at baby and Hubby, even slightest error they make ... I will go steaming around them (mostly on Hubby, very little on Brandon).

Any opinion on how to release my stress?! Go to SPA? Do yoga? These must leave home, then who cares for Baby ah? It has been 9 months since the first day I started to take care of Brandon myself and I think I am so attached to him that I don't trust anyone else to take care of him. I don't think anyone else can do what I do for Brandon 100%, even Hubby can't give Brandon 100% like me. Of course, they can't and I understand that. So that's why we bring him with us everywhere we go (when Hubby is around).

There were several times when I need to do some short errands (1-2hours), I had MIL came over to our house to look after Brandon (he was fully fed, diaper changed and most of the time he was sleeping before I left - I scheduled my errands around his nap time). All she needed to do when he awaken before I came back was to play with him.

I did leave Brandon with Hubby for about 2-3 hours when I was in KL (that also I had to tell him the list of things [feeding, changing diape] he needed to do for baby when I was away). But back there, I have other relatives around the house whom were able to take turns playing with Brandon so Hubby didn't 100% took care of Brandon. Actually, I did plan to go to the spa in KL because I know there were help taking care of Brandon, just that I couldn't find any spare time to go.

Very cham (difficult) being a FULL TIME SAHM. Most importantly, I feel so attached to the baby that I don't feel like leaving him with another person even for the smallest moment if possible.


Vien said...

You need a part-time maid to help out with the hsehold cleaning. Have her come once every 2 weeks..sure will not burn a hole in your pocket. Um, get those mexicanas..cheaper!

You need to learn how to let go lor. Have your hubby take care of Brandon. Do it few times, u will not need to give him that "list"..hehe. What you need now is "ME" time.

G said...

Anna, i share ur thoughts and situation exactly! i guess if u needn't hv to work on ur real estate biz, it would be a wee bit easier but i understand life goes on, hv to cari makan. my girl naps less than an hour each session too, 2-3 naps during daytime. she sleeps very well for now though, 7pm - 5.30am/6am but who knows, maybe she'll change her sleeping pattern one day! i'm very attached to my girl too so i guess what u're feeling is only natural as we spend all our time with our babies. perhaps once he starts walking it would help ease a bit of ur burden? i totally agree, if only domestic helpers are easily available, wow that'll make our lives a whole lot easier!

Angeleyes said...

Welcome to the club! Just relax... I have made it through Darrius's 1st birthday. Probably I'm worst off than you as I still nurse Darrius so when he needs milk he won't want anyone... not even his daddy. Guessed I got used to the routine...

crazymommy said...

I had the same thing with Nikita too. I realized that the more you scared of the noise wud wake the baby up, more they are going to wake up to these noises. So, just find a time when you are feeling better (meaning not emotionally/physically drained - even if he does wake up, u have the energy to entertain him. ;) ) and start doing these things during the time he naps, u will soon find that he is not really bothered by the noises.

wHOisBaBy said...

vien: dunno how to find a good part time maid and no one recommend. i thought about that too, and still looking around. i really need some ME time. need to teach husband.

g: is true, if i don't have clients to deal with then i feel less pressure. if i suddenly have someone kept calling me regarding the real estate stuff, then i really get stress since i cannot pick up their calls and i feel really bad not be able to provide 100% service to my client. i agree about dosmetic help, unlike being in malaysia where is so easily available.

angeleyes: may be you can give me advice on what else i'll be expecting for when baby gets to 1 year.

crazymommy: thanks for the advice. yup, the more i am afraid to wake him up, he would wake up to it. like one time i wanted to eat a fortune cookie in a plastic bag and i thought neh he is not going to wake up by the opening of the plastic noise and guess what, he did wake up just right the time the noise got to him.

Vien said...

Try asking your neighbours if they have hired help. We got ours thru a flyer. Since you're home most of the time, they can come and clean your place while you're there. The market in my area is $60 - they clean, mop and vacuum the kitchen, family room, living room, dining room, master suite, master bath and downstairs 1/2 bath. Some may charge by the # of rooms they have to clean. Some will charge by the hours.

wHOisBaBy said...

vien: will see if i can find someone. our house is pretty small, actually we can manage if hubby so some of the work by himself and not having me to tell him everytime.

babykhong said...

First time to your blog. Don't worry..we are on the same boat..full SAHM. Furthermore, I'm almost due for our 2nd baby.

I guess, like what Angeleyes said, you will get used to the routine. Very lucky for me that my hubby is willing to help me when he's at home like bathing our baby who is 13 months old.

I haven't been out to prune the garden, like you so my garden now is such a MESS! I just leave it lor..haha!

wHOisBaBy said...

babykhong: i've been to your blog b4 thru vien's. our situation are pretty much the same. lucky your husband can help, mine ... cannot automatic help, must ask one.